F@#$ Me, I'm in the HKIFF!!!

Thanks to AnD, I met the people who allowed me to be a part of their team for the 48 Hour Film Competition.

Thanks to Yu Yung Yung, I had met Thomas Lo and Koora May Lee and Andrew Lang and Stephanie Fodor.

They let me join them anyway...

Our film, Cocktail Definition, didn't win the 48 Hour competition.

It did win Best Directing, Best Screenplay and Best Acting.

I was lucky, my character was irascible, so I could be myself. And everyone else carried me, because I am not an actor. Unless I'm in court.

So we were invited to be a part of the HKIFF Short Film Competition.

That was already enough to make me feel pretty amazed; ten years ago I daydreamed about being able to attend the HKIFF. Now I'm going to be in it.

But wait, it gets better. I picked up the program last week to start choosing films, and what do I see on p.22 but myself.

The photo is even on the website. In color.

Andrew Lang is an actor. He's supposed to be in the program. He should be proud of himself, and he probably doesn't have the strange feeling I do, as if, for example, I've woken up in a place I don't recognize while wearing a priest's habit with a gun in the pocket, and I have no idea how I got to be in a situation I could never have imagined myself to be in.

But hey, it was the 80s, and cocaine is a hell of a drug.

Being in the HKIFF and its program is almost as odd a feeling as having a former AV star send me emails.

Or having models, actors and musicians whose work I venerate (or simply enjoy) exist as entries in my phone's contact list.

Or having them call or message me.

Or talk to me in public and be seen doing so.

How the f@#$ did I end up in the HKIFF?

What did I do so right?

I was very lucky to work with people who are passionate, professional, and most of all were willing to put up with me and carry me and encourage me.

I'm not being self-deprecating. I'm trying to express what a miracle they performed and how much I owe them and how grateful I am.

They managed to get an un-actor (that's worse than a non-actor) an award for acting.

It's like getting a Boy Scout merit badge for eating Brownies; it just doesn't happen.

I remember the first night (morning), waiting to shoot the first scene: Andrew went off to a quiet place to 'find his character.'

I didn't know what to do. I had no idea how to look for, much less find my character. I didn't even know where my phone was.

I sat on a couch firmly convinced that I was going to f@#$ this whole thing up and they'd throw me out of the team and the building at any time.

Probably from the window, too.

Well, that didn't happen, I didn't f@#$ it up, and somehow I'm in a movie that's in the only film festival in the world that matters to me.

I want to thank my team, and especially Yung Yung, because she convinced me that I could and should do it, and I am very. very grateful.

Please support our film at the HKIFF; info can be found in the link above.

Anything below this line is wholly my responsibility and ought not have any bearing or impact upon the other people involved in this (award-winning, shown-at-HKIFF) film.

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Lest you think that I've suddenly (in middle age) matured, the subject of this entry is not intended to evoke the common British exclamation.

No no, dear reader, I literally mean it; I want someone (female) to f@#$ me because I'm in the HKIFF.

My ten minutes of fame are more than long enough for that, even at my age.

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